JORDAN.

how coincidental can it be. just how can it be.

one step I made, and it's just all gone.

all these, just changes with time. sometimes it's fast, sometimes it's slow. Just don't know when it'll stop, or whether if it will.

I just wanna hope, all these would be gone and hope everything's back to normal. I'm starting to fall back and just die or fade away; is this my destiny?

~



limits. this word came to my mind and made me feel that, having limits helps you make your
decision wisely. sometimes it's good, sometimes it isn't.

first week of school sucked. and i guess it will just suck forever. the same old thing is shooting at me once in awhile. i've been advised to ignore, but ignoring isn't forever. to tell myself to just live with it, it's hard.

and slowly, one by one, they're disappearing. some without telling the others too and just left. can't blame them but to just accept it. some of us, including myself, think that i can't do a job properly, be it a leader, or something else. that's why i tend to be a follower and follow the people whom i respect. afterall, friendship isn't just beyond a computer screen with words and pictures, it's more of an extension over the atmosphere of outside world too.

i'm just starting to think that, i'm going back my own ways. i just think that i'm pathetic and useless, again. not that i can't do anything, i just can't help anyone that i wanted to help. more than adding fuel to fire instead.

gah i'm just hopeless again.

pfft.



school's reopening tomorrow, and i'm just not ready for it yet, or never will.

all endings are just beginnings; 2005 is over, and out comes 2006. new year, with new year resolutions, and i'm suppose to try my best to accomplish them. however, i think i can't do any of them.

i'm starting to think that i'm a failure again. not sure why and don't know why. all i need now is to get myself back on track. to face my classmates, to learn how to endure, and to learn how to stay focused.

my mind drifts away when something bad happens and i tend to think alot of it, even if it doesn't concern me. people used to say that i think too much. all i wanted was to try and help. but then, helping too much isn't useful also.

recently i've been listening to anime/jpop songs. kinda nice, but i won't get that addicted unlike someone. xD but yeah, just some music to fade my time away.

still deciding about my path towards MS. somehow the addiction can't be taken away or removed easily. it's like a scar on your body that stays permanently in you unless you do something about it. right now, i just hope that i'm strong enough to proceed on. and my mind, ohwell.

this is kinda late though, wanted to blog this yesterday but didn't have the feeling too.

Happy New Year everyone! (:
gambatte to us for a well-spent year and let's hope for another one!

houki boshi~ bleach

swear like a sailor