JORDAN.

love makes the world go round. oh well how true can this be?

almost everyday, I would always see a friend of mine, either talking to a girl or having a common topic about girls, or telling us about his girlfriend.

each time I hear all these, I would just listen and probably suffer in silent pain.

I just feel like, I wanna be in love or to have a relationship. maybe I'm not prepared for these kind of stuffs, but I need something to make my life worthwhile, something that lets me feel that MS, isn't the only thing I can do. I admit that I'm just jealous when I see my friend with a girl or a partner they can rely on. I wonder when my turn could come. ohwell.

to me right now, to have a person that I can make sure that I'll do my best, to protect her, satisfy her needs and provide her with the best of me.

first o' lvl paper is starting in 9 days time. starting to feel tensed about my national exams and hope that I can perform well too. my mid-year results aren't that good and I was almost bound to give up as well.

my mind is always in a whirl. sometimes I think of this and sometimes I think of that. in different situations I tend to think of other stuffs too. more or less I copy people with the actions they do and how they react over certain stuffs. sigh, I should just probably go back to my 'shell' and do things when no one is looking.

it sucks to be alone, but I'm just too anti-social to even start a conversation. even it's the simplest topic about MS, it's just too hard for me to even speak up, and in the end me and my friends would just be walking along quietly. this really sucks. bah

what more could happen to me? or what weird feelings am I going to have next?

swear like a sailor