JORDAN.

NMy last outfield so happened to be in tekong.

Not that it was very fascinating or whatsoever. However the moment I stepped on the island its those memories that immediately appeared into my mind.

Come to think of it, I really like those days in tekong. To me, I think that's where friendships start or maybe break. Haha. Still remember when the news of seperation broke out during my birthday and a powder party happened to me the day before. I realised though it was just a short period, the fun that was contained there seem to be so much more.

I sometime feel very regretful for not cherishing my friends as much as they have deserved. I have never really asked anyone out before. Not even just two of us to have a simple meal or chitchat or something. What could the reason be? Awkwardness? Or maybe there isn't really common topic I think. Maybe if I talked and interacted more with them I could have found out more things about them and of course they will know more about me. In that case my life wouldn't be so bottled up.

Though it still feeels bottled up inside me somehow, I hope I have to learn to give up some thoughts and venture out into something new even though it might affect me greatly or not.

Two weeks more to taiwan!



For once in my whole life I never felt so important. Or at least my presence that is. Hahahhaa.

Sis' wedding happened yesterday and it was a pretty nice event. Weddings usually are somehow the same but it signifies something to the brides at least.

Now that she's married, hopefully she'll be able to change her character and not do mistakes she did the last time.

I don't know whether if I did the right thing to hide all the mistakes she did from my mum. But what done cannot be undone and I hoped I did what I could.

At least she's a happier person now. I will miss her somehow. It feels very different now without her presence at home anymore.

I'm getting so emotional now.



I felt that I did impulsive spending for buying the ps3. Maybe it was a hasty decision to play and get that knowing that I wouldn't have the time to play makes it more convincing that I spent too much. An itouch would be more viable for me? Hmm I don't really know.

Up till now I still can't really make proper decisions. I don't know why. Could it be because I'm too suibian? That was one of the reason why that short relationship didn't last long too.

There's this strong obsession of gaming I have inside me. Although it isn't really that serious but there were times where I didn't go for outings just to play games, or i should say that gaming has somehow taken the priority over the rest of my life commitments.

Though its only a few more months before I can be set free from the green uniform life, it could also mean that more civilian problems will occur and it will start kicking in. Oh those negative thoughts are coming back again ~_~

Looks like the taiwan trip seems to be more confirmed but there isn't any news on what we should do etc. I do look forward to it somehow so that I can run away from lots of stuff in camp.

Idkidkidkidkidk ireallydontknowwhy.



Uni application is done!

I do hope I chose the right course. Although I keep saying that I want to go into these banking sector, sometimes I think I wouldn't be able to cope. I dont know. But I really want to aim for at least a second class first honours.

Afterall, its all about my restrictions and how I restrict myself from gaming and other things. Now that there's new entertainment at home it makes it even more impossible for me :(

As much as I love gaming to destress and maybe have my eyesight deteroiated, I have to limit myself I guess :/

Hopefully the uni application results would be good so I wouldn't have to worry too much.

And I should get my driving lessons back too.

Maybe I'm too scared to try new things.



Even though I didn't want to think about it. I felt I was so wrongly blamed for nothing. Why can't they do the research properly and stop hurling all those useless punishments that can be avoided or not given at all?

As much as I want to respect those ranked people for their work they did to achieve them, but the actions they do after gaining them just makes them so not worthy anymore.

Although I feel like I'm complaining for something I did wrong :x but nevertheless people should always think twice and thrice for what actions they intend to do you know. I mean if you are a minor your actions wouldn't make much impact but as your delegation/rank/position gets higher and higher, your impact of your actions gets worse.

Now I keep blaming myself for not doing well in tekong where I could have the chance to become the spec or an officier. Not like I might be a good one or better spec/officer than the current ones I have, at least I could do stuffs to prevent mistakes to happen or etc. Not like I care anymore though. Sigh.



Went out with another bunch of gaming friends and I felt younger for some time haha. It was the first time meeting most of them and the awkwardness was there but that feeling subsided pretty fast somehow.

These two weeks of staying at home and clearing leave wasn't too shabby. Although I spent most of the time at home its still better than lazing in camp :D

Still worried about my finances :((( I keep overspending.

swear like a sailor